Software used: Photoshop, Wacom Cintiq 13HD
I’ve often found illustrating and documenting the world around me a great way to rationalise and process things, particularly stress, and trauma.
Looking back I wish I’d covered more in my documentation, however - it was a lot; and after 4 months I found myself burning out - physically and emotionally.
I hope that everyone reading this was able to stay safe, despite events. And for those that weren't so lucky - I hope you're able to find some level of peace and closure.
It was a difficult few years, for multiple different reasons, but I hope that in time it becomes the moral and social stepping stone the world needed.
I hope that everyone reading this was able to stay safe, despite events. And for those that weren't so lucky - I hope you're able to find some level of peace and closure.
It was a difficult few years, for multiple different reasons, but I hope that in time it becomes the moral and social stepping stone the world needed.
Several of my friends lost their parents, and one of my friends nearly died - they were one of the first long-term cases in England, whose case actually went on to help with the treatment plans of others.
He was in the hospital for 2 months, and in an induced coma for 3 weeks. Just turned 40, no previous health issues. During that time their body went through a cytokine storm - where your immune system starts attacking itself and your vital organs. Their kidneys started to fail so they were put on dialysis. At one point they were going to be referred for a kidney transplant - however, because they still had covid and a high temperature they were considered inoperable due to the high risk.
Because no one was able to visit him, my friends and I were asked to write messages for the nurses to read to him, in the hope that maybe he could hear. Eventually, he managed to recover, although not without losing 42 lbs in weight/muscle mass and needing physiotherapy to help him relearn how to walk. For the three weeks they were in a coma, they said that they experienced nothing but none stop nightmares; believing wholeheartedly that they’d been kidnapped somewhere in France, despite being in England.
At the same time, I was scared to leave the house. With the rise in anti-Asian attacks, even in the weeks leading up to mask and social distancing mandates - I found myself becoming more and more isolated, fearing that me, my mom or friends would be harassed or attacked just for being Asian. Many of my friends already risking their lives working in hospitals and healthcare sectors.
Just walking the 10 minutes down the street to the local shops and having people glare at me and rush to cover their faces, little kids running away from me, grown adults muttering racist remarks under their breaths. On a daily basis, I would see another news report of another hate crime or murder.
He was in the hospital for 2 months, and in an induced coma for 3 weeks. Just turned 40, no previous health issues. During that time their body went through a cytokine storm - where your immune system starts attacking itself and your vital organs. Their kidneys started to fail so they were put on dialysis. At one point they were going to be referred for a kidney transplant - however, because they still had covid and a high temperature they were considered inoperable due to the high risk.
Because no one was able to visit him, my friends and I were asked to write messages for the nurses to read to him, in the hope that maybe he could hear. Eventually, he managed to recover, although not without losing 42 lbs in weight/muscle mass and needing physiotherapy to help him relearn how to walk. For the three weeks they were in a coma, they said that they experienced nothing but none stop nightmares; believing wholeheartedly that they’d been kidnapped somewhere in France, despite being in England.
At the same time, I was scared to leave the house. With the rise in anti-Asian attacks, even in the weeks leading up to mask and social distancing mandates - I found myself becoming more and more isolated, fearing that me, my mom or friends would be harassed or attacked just for being Asian. Many of my friends already risking their lives working in hospitals and healthcare sectors.
Just walking the 10 minutes down the street to the local shops and having people glare at me and rush to cover their faces, little kids running away from me, grown adults muttering racist remarks under their breaths. On a daily basis, I would see another news report of another hate crime or murder.
I just remember crying in my dentist's office because of an earlier encounter, and them reassuring me that there are still good people in the world.
In one week -
An 84-year-old Thai man was killed after being pushed over in San Francisco. A Filipino man was slashed across the face in New York City. An elderly Asian man was shoved and thrown to the ground in Oakland’s Chinatown. A Vietnamese grandmother was robbed and assaulted. A Chinese man was robbed and assaulted at gunpoint in front of his home in Oakland.
We have the responsibility and moral obligation to speak out against racism and xenophobia. We have long had to face the double standard of being seen as the model minority and then used as a scapegoat in times of hardship.
Being a minority, there is often this feeling of being a perpetual foreigner. We minimise ourselves, we’re told to keep our heads down, not to complain, not to eat certain foods because they smell or look strange, to not learn or speak our languages, to not wear certain clothes or religious garments... just to try and fit in. And yet assimilating has never stopped us from being attacked or victimised.
We are not a virus, we are not your fetish, we are not your model minority, we are not your scapegoat.
Dehumanising others does not increase your own humanity.
History has its eyes on you.
In one week -
An 84-year-old Thai man was killed after being pushed over in San Francisco. A Filipino man was slashed across the face in New York City. An elderly Asian man was shoved and thrown to the ground in Oakland’s Chinatown. A Vietnamese grandmother was robbed and assaulted. A Chinese man was robbed and assaulted at gunpoint in front of his home in Oakland.
We have the responsibility and moral obligation to speak out against racism and xenophobia. We have long had to face the double standard of being seen as the model minority and then used as a scapegoat in times of hardship.
Being a minority, there is often this feeling of being a perpetual foreigner. We minimise ourselves, we’re told to keep our heads down, not to complain, not to eat certain foods because they smell or look strange, to not learn or speak our languages, to not wear certain clothes or religious garments... just to try and fit in. And yet assimilating has never stopped us from being attacked or victimised.
We are not a virus, we are not your fetish, we are not your model minority, we are not your scapegoat.
Dehumanising others does not increase your own humanity.
History has its eyes on you.
Thank you to those who followed along, and for those who encouraged me to keep going. I tried for as long as I could but eventually had to look after myself and take a break from the news/social media.
